For it’s never too late to begin again

Something I wrote for my friend when I was recovering from Covid few months ago. Posting it here as a memory and to be grateful always..

“My life after beating the corona virus. My dear friend @sapkalibirlady asked me this question. The first thought that came to my mind, was that, even though I didn’t consciously think about its impact, the virus and the vulnerability did had an effect on my outlook towards worldly things.

The last few weeks, was a battle to survive. Fighting my own thoughts about life and death. To live or not to live. To fill myself with positive energy or not. There was a part of me that wanted to give up this worldly life, while there was another part that wanted to live life to the fullest before I die. The beauty of life is such you got to go with the latter. Once my mind was made up, it was easier to convince myself to stay strong and let the medications work. The prayers and wishes from loved ones had a powerful effect.

To hit the rock bottom, to suffer and to see your loved ones suffer was a painful experience. Now when I look back it all seems like a nightmare. I can’t be thankful enough to see my family safe and recovering.

For me, this is a second life that I have got. Although, life is uncertain, I see a bright future and a long journey ahead to experience the adventures of life. I haven’t made up my mind yet, but it would have something to do with self – discovery and losing myself to mysticism. Life need to have more meaning and purpose than it has now. I am in search of that path into the unknown. ❤️❤️❤️”

Beginning of new adventures..

My favourite search generally on the internet is the “things to do” for the city I am visiting. It’s been a week, I have been in this new city and I know that in a blink of an eye this is also going to become a memory. So I want to explore whatever possible within my reach for now and keep the rest for new adventures.

One of the place that caught my attention was “Parc Montjuzet“. While deciding my city for my studies, the pictures that I mostly found were from this place. I looked for the maps – 30 mins walking. I thought that’s not a big deal. Finally, I made up my mind to go and explore. The best feeling about these little adventures is to walk aimlessly even though I know my destination. I can still take time to enjoy the journey and observe the little things that comes my way.

Whether it is the streets or the houses with little balconies full of colorful flowers, makes me want to pause the time for a bit, for time moves so fast. It’s towards the close of the destination that I realized I had to climb a passageway of stairs. I was already so tired, at one point I thought I should go back and then convinced myself to move ahead. After taking little breaks in between, the view that I finally got to see was worth all the pain.

The parc gives a breathtaking view of the city and wherever we go, what remains constant is the majestic Cathédrale Notre-Dame-de-l’Assomption. About the parc as per online source – “It is a landscaped volcanic hill above the town, with oaks, cypresses & eucalyptus, plus modern sculptures”

I can’t wait to go back there again. This video is one of my first attempts to capture my journey and moments that I will cherish for a lifetime.

Set it free..

Set your soul free,

From the tangles of your

Self-limiting thoughts.

Let it fly,

So far, so it can

Meet a soul divine.

For in flight,

It is the happiest.

Living each moment,

Fearless of the unknown.

Lost in a

Sacred space infinite!

Gratitude..

The days may be cloudy now,
But soon there would be a clear sky,
So I can see the Sun clearly,
Let its light shine upon me.
I will see the flock of birds rushing to their sacred places
I will see the beautiful colors painted in the sky
Colors never seen before,
Never witnessed.
I will stand in awe of your super powers.
And I would repeatedly say “Thank you” so my voice reaches out to you.
Of how grateful I am for your unconditional love! ❤️😊

A memory close to my heart ❤️

My spiritual journey started at a very young age. I remember, as a child, I always felt a divine intervention in everything I did. Being a quiet kid at school and home, I found solace in talking to a “Jesus, I trust in you” poster. I remember, when I came back from school, I closed the doors of my room and spoke to this person in front of me whom I addressed as my friend, my Father. Endless talks about the day, my insecurities, fears, and joy.

Then and now, nothing has changed. I never had a habit of taking out time to pray or read the Bible, but I have been in conversation with Jesus in the happiest moments and in the trying times.

I say a thank you when I am happy and I ask for strength when in doubt.

Is there a childhood memory that you could connect with from this. I’d love to read it in the comments section below.

Be like lotus..

If you feel lost, disappointed, hesitant, or weak, return to yourself, to who you are, here and now and when you get there, you will discover yourself, like a lotus flower in full bloom, even in a muddy pond, beautiful and strong.

Masaru Emoto, Secret Life of Water

Memories..

The feel of some places stay with you forever. This was one of them for me. I visited this church for the first time to attend a wedding. And I instantly fell in love with it. All through the wedding ceremony, I couldn’t help but appreciate how beautifully the church is still preserved.

“Arthat St Mary’s Orthodox Cathedral a.k.a. Arthat Valiyapally also called Paloor-Chattukulangara Church is an ancient church located in Arthat village of Thalapilly Taluk, one mile south of Kunnamkulam town, Thrissur, Kerala, India.This is the first and the oldest church in India founded in AD 52. This church is also known as Chattukulangara pally. It is believed that this church is the most ancient church in this region and is one of the Seven and Half church founded by St Thomas Apostle in AD 52” – Source – Wikipedia

This is the moment..

“The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future.

Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals.

Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness.

If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.”

– The Forty Rules of Love

Blink..

Driving back home with my grand-aunt, we were having conversations about life, dealing with adversity and making key decisions that would shape one’s future. The conversation with grand-aunt was filled with precious lessons, and one that stands out for me is-

“When you are taking important decisions in your life, if you feel even a red-flag, don’t go for it!”


I was reminded of this conversation once again, when I started reading the book – Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, “The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” as part of an activity by Lean In Personal Branding led by Suba Lakshminarasimhan.

Blink is an interesting book that offers a unique narrative to how a human mind can bring as much value in the blink of an eye as in months spent on analysis. Malcolm introduces the readers to snap judgement that can be taken in seconds with limited information through – “Thin-slicing”. When I was contemplating with myself if this theory is right or wrong, I went down to my memory lane to recollect the instances where I might have applied this theory.

And the one simple instance from my routine that I could recollect was my regular commute to the office. I had to cover a brief distance by hiring an auto-rickshaw. Every time I got off the bus, I would take a quick glance at the auto-drivers and in seconds decided whom I should go with. That was me, applying the Thin-slicing theory, analyzing with the limited information I had based on the auto-drivers personality, body language and facial expressions because I was too conscious about my safety. Most of the times I was right, for I never had a bad experience except for few.

There is no right or wrong approach to this. It all depends on the data and information that is available.

“The truth is that it can. Just as we can teach ourselves to think logically and deliberately, we can also teach ourselves to make better snap judgments. The power of knowing, in that first two seconds, is not a gift given magically to a fortunate few. It is an ability that we can all cultivate for ourselves”


In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article summarizing research on human thoughts per day. It was found that the average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those thousands of thoughts, 80% were negative, and 95% were exactly the same repetitive thoughts as the day before. Just as important it is to provide relevant data to build a meaningful model with machine learning and artificial intelligence, we have to make conscious efforts to send information that can teach us in taking better snap judgments. We need to filter our thoughts to an extent that our decisions are not driven by our biases, past experiences, stereotypes etc.

“Blink is concerned with the very smallest components of our everyday lives-the content and origin of those instantaneous impressions and conclusions that spontaneously arise whenever we meet a new person or confront a complex situation or have to make a decision under conditions of stress.”

Is there an experience that you can recall, share in the comments section below.

P. S. This is my first attempt at writing a book review based on the first two chapters of the book. 😊

There is hope..

Life has always been uncertain. But this year, it has been different. Every day we wake up to a news that gives us reminders about the fragility of the Life.

So when everything is temporary, the best thing to do is appreciate the present – the gifts that we posses in form of mother nature, our family, our loved ones, ourself and everything that holds a dear place in our heart.

I pray may you and your loved ones be protected and be safe. God bless!

The way to be happy is here..

All it takes is to give yourself a break from being productive to being in the moment. We look for happiness when it’s right there around us, within us. The choice is ours. Be kind to yourself, the world is not going to end. Make the best out of the present.

– Me to myself ❤️

When grandma came to see me..

Something woke me up in the middle of the night. From my bed, I could see the living room filled with the moon light. Staying alone was never a nightmare for me but there was something different about today.

A fear took over me, as I just sat there, I felt my throat dry. I was thirsty. But do I dare to move from my bed. No!

I reached out for my phone, to check the time. 4:00 a.m! .

All of a sudden, it struck me, “It is 4.00 a. m. The time when granny used to wake up, read the Bible and said her prayers.”

When she read the Bible and sung her songs of praise and worship,it was so comforting. It was like angels singing for our protection. Had she been alive, this would have been her time of prayer.

My fear was replaced with her warmth and love.


I said à prayer for her and for my loved ones and then went back to sleep.

The nights that followed were no different. Between 3 a. m. to 4 a. m. I found myself wide awake with the thought about Granny. The silence and the light that filled the room made me feel as if Granny was watching over me, to say something.

It’s been years that she left us, but since then there have been many occasions, she has visited me in my dreams. I don’t know how this happens. But I want it to be like this forever. The last I saw her was a few weeks ago, all bright and ready to go to church.

And few days later my paternal grandmom left for her heavenly abode. I can only imagine the signs.

Miss you both, my Wonder women. The love and compassion with which you are filled is hard to find.

An innocent blackmail

Big brother: Please give me that toy. It’s mine and I want to play with it.

Little sister: No, It’s mine. I won’t give it to you.

Big brother: Think again. I won’t allow you to watch TV. I won’t let you watch Doraemon or Pokémon.

Little sister: Please take this. When did I say it’s mine?

Big brother: That’s like a good girl and my sweet sister

Only in the darkness can you see the stars

I have not often expressed openly about my spiritual beliefs, even though from a very young age, I have had the privilege to experience feelings/moments that have been beyond my understanding. To this day, thinking about each of those experiences gives me goosebumps. I realize how much I have been protected and loved by “The One”.

But there is always a phase in life, when you lose hope from everything even your greatest strength doesn’t seem to exist then. In one of those phases in my life, I chose to seek an answer. I prayed and opened the Bible and started reading – I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was I dreaming? Aren’t these words unbelievably hopeful? Nevertheless, I wrote those words in my tiny book which I fill with all words of wisdom that I have come across.

Now when I look back, each of these words feels so powerfully connected. For everyone going through hard times, this is a reminder that you are not alone. And there is still hope even in those moments. Somethings are beyond our control, but what we can do is chose to be hopeful and give our best. The universe will care for you.

Wishing you all a Blessed Sunday!

Her first solo travel!

She looked at her watch again. It was half past 12. She had been standing at that place for more than an hour. Still there was no sign of the bus that would have taken her home.

Her school had closed earlier than expected, that’s when she decided to take the public transport instead of waiting for her school bus. After all, someday she had to try this, to be independent, to explore the roads never taken, to be bold enough to travel alone. Someday she had to, so why not now.

But now, she stood there feeling stupid of her decision. And started getting worried more than ever. Calling mom wasn’t an option because there was no mobile phones back then and a public phone bhooth was no where to be found.

All she could do was just stand there and wait. To her relief, à bus finally arrived. Having waited impatiently for a few hours now, she just hopped on without giving a second thought. The bell of the bus rang and it took off. She stood there shocked as there was no passenger except her.

It was just the driver and the conductor. Not knowing what to do, she quickly took a window seat and sat there hoping the next stops will have passengers.

One, two, three, four, and so on. The bus passed stops, but no one to take it.  Her heart started beating faster. What if something happened to her. She was the only girl in the bus. No one to witness if anything happened to her.

She reached out to her bag, and found her weapon to fight any harm. She held the white rosary, closed her eyes and starting chanting her routine prayer. Seeking help ! With hope!

The bus stopped, and there emerged a woman and sat in the front seat.

Ayesha looked out of the window to get a glimpse of the sky. “Thank you” she said and closed her eyes in relief.

Merry Christmas

The best thing about Christmas for me has always been eagerly waiting for the day and enjoying that feeling of hope than the Christmas day itself. The heart feels lighter, there is so much happiness around and to look forward to. This year was no less. My day always started with Christmas carol songs by Libera and Vienna Boys’ choir,putting up my Christmas tree and Crib with the least perfection.

Today is the day and I wish you all a Merry Christmas. And for those who are not in a state to celebrate, I wish them all blessings, love and warmth for the years to come.

Happy Holidays!

Silence

A man whom I will call Akash, came rushing with a suitcase in his hands. Behind him was a young woman, let’s call her Vidya. He checked for their seat which turned out to be next to me.

Seeing me, I could sense that he was very relieved. He started inquiring my destination. I said, “Bhopal”.

He took out his phone for a video call. I was totally surprised when he handed over his phone to me and asked me to talk.

That was the moment I realized what was happening. The couple were differently abled, none of them could hear or speak.

On the other side of the phone was a very graceful woman. She had a very beautiful and genuine smile on her face. When she started speaking all she wanted was for me to assist her daughter at her destination.

There was no reason I would have denied this request. Akash left bidding goodbyes.

There was a pause for few minutes. I wanted to engage Vidya in conversations, but at the same time I had no clue how to do that. All of a sudden, she started asking me something in signs. From what I could make out she was asking about her berth. But she wasn’t confident if I understood. She immediately video called her mom and asked her the same thing. Her mom explained that she wanted to sleep after her lunch. And then she also stressed that there was no rush.

Sometime passed, I got back to my reading.

Meanwhile, I could see Akash and Vidya on a video call again. Expressing as much as they could, to let the other one know how much they loved and cared for.

It was a rare sight for me, because these days, it is the other way around where the priviledged people have nothing to speak as there are more interesting things going on which can’t be missed on their phones.

There were lots of questions going on in my mind- why did this happen to them, their life would be so difficult, how can a mother be so calm despite of all her fears, how can there be so much love? Why can’t this world be like them? Why don’t we value our blessings? Why do we keep chasing for more? And these questions went on until I chose to stop. 🙎‍♀️

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When the lights go out

I woke up to the sounds of birds chirping. I thought to myself, what time is it? Is it morning already, time to wake up? The chirping seemed closer now, and I was sitting on my bed looking for where it came from.

From a little hole on the wall, came a flock birds rushing and flying around me in circles. Down they came still in flight but closer to me, some flying near my hands. Suddenly, one of it caught my hand and stayed there for a while. I moved my hands closer to take a look cause it was still so dark. A tiny little bird, looked somewhat like the jungle babbler. Reminded me of my home where we were always surrounded by them.

Before I could make myself sure, off it went alongwith the rest. Flying off! Outside the window, stood a bigger version of the bird. All I could see was it’s head and a clear blue sky in the backdrop.

What was happening, I thought again and looked on the bed to find myself in deep sleep.

Guess the place :)

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Am I dreaming?

While serving on the board of our organization’s Employee Resources Group, I was always on the lookout of great speakers whom we could invite for speaker series. From Srijan Pal Singh (Founder & CEO), Kalam Center, to National Award winners Shasha Tirupathi and Ashish Vidhyarthi. What this gave me was access to amazing people whose life is a living example for one and all.

Although it didn’t materialize, it’s my hunt for the best speakers that led me to Ashish Vidyarthi’s page. I always knew him as an actor more known for his antagonist and character roles. Since then I had been looking for opportunities to attend his workshop.

And finally, this happened – “Partnering with Ashish and Piloo Vidhyarthi” Both of them make a powerful couple who can motivate you with simple and practical examples. I absolutely had a great time attending this workshop.

Also, one of the “Am I dreaming?” moments 😊

Do share your “Am I dreaming? Moments in the comment section below. I’d love to read. 😊

P. S. A re-introduction was inspired from this workshop.

Guest Blog: Inspired

I am glad to present this week’s guest blog.  This week features World of Words a wonderful page owned by my friend. What I like about her writing is her talent to beautifully capture her moods 🙂 Presenting one of this and do check out her blog for more.

Inspired:

Inspired by the bounty showers of Rain,

She strolled the paths manned by the Tree Gods;

Her mind wandering the World of Mysteries,

She let herself dissolve into Oneness with the Great Love;

Enthralled at the Seraphic Beauty of Nature,

She embraced all the Love at once…

Kindled by the Earthly Scent,

She felt life breathing its way into her…

The Cold Winds cuddled her,

Stroking her hair strands and pampering every bit of her skin;

When Her Lips adorned her with Non-Stop Smiles,

And Her Eyes Smiled more than Her Lips,

She knew she was “Inspired in Love..!”

In the Moment and Forever.

Shimla

Visiting a new city is like meeting a new person. From the moment I land, I am in conversation with everything I see or encounter. To me, it’s more than just checking off something from my bucket list. When I am there I want to make the most out of each moment. It feels like the city says to me, please don’t go, not yet, there is still so much to see and talk.

Shimla! Was always on my wishlist. And finally getting to visit was a dream come true. Sharing a few pictures from my recent visit.

A re-introduction –

Couple of weeks ago, I got an opportunity or rather I would say, I took the opportunity to attend a workshop, that was themed as “Partnering with Life”

As the name itself speaks, the workshop was all about embracing life by adding different flavors to the way we approach it.

Not a new concept! Isn’t it? Since years, there are so many books written, movies made, speeches given – aimed at introducing us to life in a more meaningful and impactful way. We see, we hear, we agree to all of it, only to come back to a reality where changing an old self is so difficult.

I had the same thoughts when I went to the workshop, but I also believe in the fact that, when we welcome these learnings with an empty mind, we never come back empty handed. There is a take away that stays with you forever, and will be reminded at the right time.

Who am I? Was a question, that constantly reminded me of the way I see myself more than how I introduce myself to the world. When I am asked to introduce myself, I usually end up, giving à one liner introduction that only reflects, what I do for a living 😂 But this session was an eye-opener even for simple things like this, that connects me to the world. Here I am, re-introducing and re-branding myself to you all –

“Call me Ancy, Aswathy or Ayesha, Ancy is the name my parents chose for me, Aswathy is the nick name only because this is also my zodiac sign as per Malayalam calender, Ayesha is the name I chose for myself as a writer. I work with a reputed organisation, and I am also a traveller, a singer, an aspiring writer, a leader, a linguist, a storyteller, an adventurer, a photographer …. And my goal is to keep adding to this list”

I invite you to also reintroduce yourself in the comments section below.

Guest Blog: I plead

I am starting a guest blog series once in a week, where I will be inviting some of my fellow bloggers or people outside of my WordPress network to write for my readers 🙂

This week I am publishing a beautiful work by mydreammywords. The writer is also my little sister, which makes me extremely proud of her talents and writings.

I plead…..

In times of laughter,
In times of pain,
Often did I think of
How could I write not

My soul wrote
When it immersed in yours
Each seasons did we conquer
A dreary solace coming over!

The love can never be ceased,
Unless turned to hatred,
I wish, it doesn’t
Let go not, if it happens –

Instead stay I plead,
Be patient
And make me yours!

What’s revealed after rains?

Voices of Faith

An encounter with old world charm

To escape the heat, I was looking to hire a taxi or an auto-rickshaw as soon as possible. But, the roads were already deserted with just a few people here and there.

Standing on the road side, I was kind of getting impatient. I finally decided to take a metro which was at a walking distance from where I was. At the crossroads was this horse-carriage parked and a couple of men descended from it.

There was a puff of smoke in the air and the person holding the cigarette was the coachman. Now there is nothing unusual in the act of smoking, but there was something else in the way this man carried himself as he smoked with style and attitude. The entire view was so picturesque. For a moment it made me forget why I started.

Though I couldn’t capture that moment, I requested if I could take his picture with his horse carriage.

Paradise

From a jampacked schedule during my travel to Kerala last year end, I was fortunate for getting the opportunity to visit new places. One of which was this beach in Thrissur.

What I expected and what I found was completely different. A serene and beautiful place where you can be with yourself.

Look what I made today

This was a first attempt, so this doesn’t look as neat as it should have been. 😀😁

No less than a musical event!

She studied all corners of the small clinic. The walls had been converted into shelves housing all kinds of medicines. In between, lay a table and few chairs for the patients and visitors.

Dr. Ryan was attending to a patient. She took a corner seat, anxious and worried, for the purpose of her visit was her husband, that too just few days after their wedding. A few minutes passed by and her husband took his seat facing the doctor.

There was dead silence, she couldn’t make out why.  Finally, her husband broke the silence and showed his recent reports. He had a high blood pressure. The doctor listened very attentively to what he was saying and then took his blood pressure monitor from one of the drawers.

To her surprise, all of a sudden, Dr.Ryan started singing. She couldn’t recall which one it was except for the fact that it had to be a very old Hindi song. She was taken back to her memories of waiting to watch “Rangoli” on Doordorshan the only show that would have played the oldest songs that anyone could ever imagine.

The doctor paused for a second, his hands still at work, diagnosing and then signaled her husband to continue the song where he stopped. And he did as he was asked.

She sat there befuddled, watching an health check-up that turned out to be a duet.

It always feels good to be captured – candid

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Everything you can imagine is real

Take a little time for yourself

I strongly believe, that if there is anyone who can make you happy, then it has to be yourself. No money or person can bring you the happiness which you would get by investing in yourself. I never let go of any opportunity that would allow me to explore the unknown outside of my routine.

Attending a workshop on “Urdu Calligraphy” was an experience of a lifetime in recent times.  Persian, Arabic, and Urdu are few of the many languages that I have always been in awe of. The carvings and writings in Urdu or Arabic found in historical Mughal monuments have had amazing stories to say. Often wanting to decode the beautiful and artistic writings, experiencing the writing myself through the calligraphy helped me connect more deeply to this art.

As I held the pen and started to try my hands on a new form of writing – I was feeling so content with the work I was doing. There was no pressure to be perfect or to be better than someone else. As we were experimenting in our groups, there was only smiles, laughter and learnings we had to exchange with each other.

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Credit goes to Project Kitabat and Hobbmob for organizing this memorable event.  Follow their page for the next event in your city.

Letter to my younger self

My younger self,

To you, I owe my life, my world, and what I am today. I am thankful to the little dreamer in you who always reminded me of this beautiful world and the endless opportunities that were ahead of me. You made me realize, no matter how weak I may seem to the world, the power is within me to achieve what I always dreamed of.

If you have started thinking that it’s all because of you then you are wrong There were many obstacles, fears, and challenges that I had to face during my journey. But that’s why we are blessed with wonderful people around us both on the personal and professional level, isn’t it? Over these years, I have realized that in the end, there is nothing such as a good or bad experience. When I look back and connect the dots, I realize that everything happened for a reason and it falls in place at the right time. Neither too early, not too late.

I want to let you know that you are still in me, no matter how wise I become – to cherish the little things in life, to express what I feel through my writing, to offer a helping hand to the needy, to spread happiness and the list goes on.

Lots of love!

Celebrating my 5 years with WordPress

It has been a couple of months now since I last posted about my move to a new city. And since then, I have been trying to find opportunities to sit and write but haven’t been successful.

Today, with much determination, I logged in to my WordPress account “to write”. The first thing to notice was a notification from WordPress for my 5 years here. But I know that officially it has been just two years, I took interest to actively start blogging. Nevertheless, its a definitely something worth celebrating. I am really glad to be here and I hope to keep myself motivated and determined to write regularly.

5 years

Spiritual vision

The way you see is the measure of the world ~Rumi

Both the title and the verse credits to “The Illustrated Rumi” A new translation by Philip Dunn, Manuela Dunn, and R. A. Nicholson

Let it be..

It was my first visit to this church. But something went wrong with the timing and I was late in reaching for the Holy Mass. I lit a candle and prayed and was appreciating the person who would have kept the bouquet. The sight itself was so peaceful.

I was rushing to leave for another church, when I thought to capture this in my cam. Due to the sunlight, the mobile screen was hardly visible. But I was surprised to see what I found in my picture gallery.

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Day off

To celebrate Diwali, I thought the best way should be by exploring my new city. I’ll keep the story of my experience for some other day.

For now, sharing this capture:

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Happy Diwali..

Happy Diwali to all my fellow bloggers !

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